explaining the absurd looking but useful wrap

Posted by Catherine Cartwright Jones on September 08, 1999 at 02:52:41:

In Reply to: wrapping with an ace bandage posted by Shel on September 08, 1999 at 01:41:10:

Put your coffee down. This could get messy. My evil twin, the
Reverand Bunny, has taken over the keyboard.

When people ask you why you are wrapped up like Frankenstein's Bride
...answer: (pick one)

1) Aliens abducted me because they realized I was the most
intelligent, most perfect, most beautiful woman in the galaxy, and
they needed some skin samples so they could clone me and create a
master race to take over the universe. Mess with me about this wrap,
and I'll call in my warrior goddess clones to enlighten you.

2) Fire breathing belch-dragons attacked from the depths of Lake Erie,
where they have been spawning on petrochemical sludge since about
1942. Because I am secretly SuperWoman, I had to quickly dash in to
save the city by stopping their poisonous fire-belches with my bare
hands before they consumed Cleveland. It stung a bit, but I saved the
city....when the bandages come off you'll see their mystical, magical
fire-scar.

3)A Y2K virus infected my hand. It could be lethal. Don't touch me.

4) Slavering squid-beings from Andromeda slimed me in a battle to save
the universe, and these bandages are healing the wounds from the
radioactive jellyfish bombs they hurled at me. I'm generalissima of
the celestial bitch-goddess freedom-fighters, and I lead the final
charge to victory. What..you missed the coverage on CNN? Where have
you been?

5) That's where the CIA just implanted my new cyborg chips. When the
wraps come off tomorrow, I'll be hyper-intelligent and invincible.
Try not to annoy me.

6) These wraps are healing over the flash marks from a sort of
hypersex known only to us devotees of the anti-Mathmos.......didn't
you watch "Barbarella"? You don't know what you're missing!

Follow-ups:

• Re: explaining the absurd looking but useful wrap Natasha Papousek 14:40:22 9/09/99 (0)
• Re: explaining the absurd looking but useful wrap Anon 16:59:24 9/08/99 (0)
• Re: explaining the absurd looking but useful wrap Carrie 04:50:37 9/08/99 (0)
• ROFLOL!!!!!!!!! Shel 03:37:36 9/08/99 (3)
  • the Reverand Bunny genuflects to your quickening Catherine Cartwright jOnes 04:08:12 9/08/99 (2)
    • Help? Amy C 17:47:59 9/09/99 (1)
      • Re: Help? natasha 20:21:11 9/09/99 (0)