Re: Henna Baby Shower

Posted by Amy C on September 29, 1999 at 18:27:32:

In Reply to: Re: Henna Baby Shower posted by Becky M. on September 29, 1999 at 15:47:45:

: Instead of games, I thought we could all tell our birth stories, and
: pass on a bit of advice for mothering 2 children.

I have never had a baby, so take this thought for whatever it's worth:
I have had many patients ask me for help in stopping the birth stories
when it comes near labor time. It can really raise their fears during
a time that is already anxious. In contrast, they can't share these
stories enough after the birth is over. It is very valuable to
process the experience, especially with other mothers. It seems to me
that well-meaning friends and relatives forget what those last weeks
leading up to labor can be like (emotionally) and feel the need to
share birth stories in a way that is sometimes not welcome. I have
heard this even from women having their second baby.

So my suggestions would be a) ask the mother-to-be if this sounds fun
to her first and b) focus on the positive in whatever stories you
share (for example, if you had to have a c-secion, what information
helped you feel less frightened by it, etc.).

I am sure you have no intentions of making her feel anxious, but it is
natural & normal for women who have had traumatic births to tell 'war
stories', almost involuntarily.

Something to think about from an outside observer. Mothers, feel free
to correct me if I'm wrong. I'm interested in other perspectives.

Follow-ups:

• Re: Henna Baby Shower Anon 02:07:15 9/30/99 (1)
  • Re: Henna Baby Shower Becky M. 19:09:48 9/30/99 (0)