a resolution to the home appointment dilemma

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Posted by Alissa on June 14, 2002 at 13:46:25:

I decided to post my personal "results" from the previous post I left
regarding my dilemma over home appointments and personal safety for
henna artists. First, I want to thank everyone who posted a reply
previously, I went over the messages several times to consider what
others said. Maureen and Paul's words were escpially helpful and
sobering. It *did* help me be more objective to hear the same message
from a less invovled person.

In a nutshell, Jason (my husband) again reiterated that in his
opinion home appointments are dangerous, dangerous beyond what he
would personally feel safe doing himself. (J is a former Marine, btw,
he's not a guy who scares easy). He is, though, more conservative
than I am. He conceeded though that what I chose to do was completely
my business, and although he may have an opinion on it, he knows
better than to tell me what I can or can't do.

We talked about other ideas for home appointments, and during our
talk he asked me about what other henna artists do. I told him that I
posed this safety issue on the Forum and he thought that was a grand
idea, getting info from everyone else on how they handled it. Some of
the suggestions I received I brought up while talking, and some were
quite helpful for resolving our own situation.

In the end, we decided that for home appointments I would leave with
him the name, address and phone number of where I would be. Once
there, I call him (in front of the guest) to let him know I made it. -
- This was the biggest thing that Jason liked of all the suggestions
we discussed. His primary concern was I could walk into a dangerous
situation that was a "setup." By alerting the potential perpetrator
that I had a party who knew where I was, and that I was checking in
regularly, hopefully that might deter someone who had serious
mischief on their minds (pass me up for a better potential victim).
Once finished with the appointment, I call J again when I'm safely in
my car and on the way home.

I feel fine with this arrangement, and I'm willing to admit that home
appointments do have a higher risk potential than meeting in public
places. However, like some mentioned, all of life is a risk and often
we are preyed upon doing things we might consider perfectly safe. I
was once almost assaulted by 2 men in broad daylight, 11:30 am on
Saturday, on a busy street while going to the outside ATM at a
convenience store. I was surrounded by people, it was daylight, it
was supposed to be "safe" and I still came home crying uncontrollably
at my own close call. One drove a van, and the other came running
after me as if he were gonna grab me "to give me a hug". I made it
to my vehicle and got the key in the ignition before the man got his
hands on me (he was literally reaching into my truck while I was
putting the keys in, yelling "Hey! Hey!" still, like he knew me).
Whole incident scared the fuck outta me -- and yet I did
everything "right" and was supposed to have been "safe".

So the point of that digression was to say that yes, we live in
danger, yes we can minimize that danger, and yes we can still live
our lives. And for me, still practice our craft. In any case, I hope
my own experience helps any other artists who are dealing with
similar home appointment safety issues.


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