Re: sounds like you're on your way to resolution...some other suggestions


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Posted by Christine on June 15, 2002 at 00:17:48:

In reply to: sounds like you're on your way to resolution...some other suggestions posted by Anne Beltestad on June 14, 2002 at 15:15:57:

: Alissa,
:
: Sorry to hear about your "close call" with some idiots. I can
: imagine this influences your, and your husband's, feelings about
your
: safety.
: As a professional henna artist who's gone to peoples' houses alone
a
: number of times, and a martial artist who believes women *CAN* feel
: safe alone, can judge situations beforehand, and *CAN* if worst
comes
: to worst defend ourselves, I was moved by your post to respond.
: First of all your decision to call your husband to "check in" is
: perfect. That seems like it could alone do a lot to resolve the
: problem.
: But before it even gets to that point, check your own "vibes" about
: the client and the situation. Not the screaming loud paranoia
voice,
: not the fear left over from the attack (I know, I was attacked
myself)
: but the "still, small" voice that tells you "yes" or "no." It can
be
: as simple as feeling "sketched out" by someone over the phone. For
: example when the Indian man at the restaurant near my school
: expressed interest in my henna, at first I thought, cool! Then he
: started asking me about my own comfort level coming over to
someone's
: house, and a yellow flag went up. When he asked me if I also
: bellydance, the red flag went up and I conveyed to him that I would
: henna him if his wife/mother were present, and furthermore that I
: hold a brown belt in an obscure and dangerous Korean martial
art...he
: seemed to get the picture, and now leaves me alone.
: Some men are like dogs. If they smell your fear, they're going to
: mess with you. If you "walk tall" like my mom (who's 5'2") taught
me,
: and remember that although they may be bigger or stronger, they are
: anatomically more vulnerable than you, and you (most likely) have a
: lower center of gravity and stronger legs, as well as being faster
by
: being smaller, you can go a long way to change your outlook.
: Lastly, I would strongly suggest some martial arts or self-defense
: training. The confidence this gives you, the relaxation and
comfort
: you feel, can't be obtained anywhere else. Having training in how
to
: defend yourself should the need ever arise goes a long way in
: preventing such situations from ever arising.
: I hope this helps, and feel free to email me if you have any other
: questions.
: Good luck,
:
: Anne
:

I may not know martial arts but a stilletto heel in a shoe makes a
great weapon- I've just heard :-) And I also keep pepper spray with
me at all times. I only do henna parties but the safety issue applies
there as well as private appointments. oop I think i replied the
wrong post sorry christine

 


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