Re: argh! help! embracing conflict.
Posted by Maureen on July 11, 2002 at 15:50:30:
Problem with being "defacto-organizer" of gigs like this is that you
wind up with lots of responsibility and no real authority. You want
to get real clear with people when you take up the organizing of this
sort of event, just what you will do and what they need to do. This
includes how to pull out and cancel. If folks balk at this and just
want to leave you with the work but not the authority to handle
things like finding a replacement for them, then they are just
setting you up as the person to do all of the work and the person
they can get pissed off at if anything goes wrong. Sounds like that
is what happened here. Make sure that people "buy into" your
authority before picking up all of the responsibility. That way you
don't have to lose any sleep when you make what definitely sounds
like the correct decision.
As long as this was simply business the above will work. If tis was
a friend, then you know you are dealing with the issue of hurt
feelings and feelings of being betrayed rather than your business
decision. You can always approach this as a friend with an apology
for having to make the decision. Stand by the decision but
understand what your friend is feeling and thinking. And determine
what you have to do as friends to avoid being in this sort of
Hope any of this is helpful.
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