Thanks, kenzi for the thoughtful discussion...more...

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Posted by Meena on June 9, 2003 at 23:58:30:

In reply to: Re: That wasn't racism, IMO, just a cultural choice...long posted by Kenzi on June 9, 2003 at 14:45:30:

Wow, that sounds like such a painful experience! I'm so sad for
you, and hope it never happens again. I know the feeling, probably
not unlike the ones I've had like being called a camel jockey or
towel head...it is so hurtful to experience. Things have become
increasingly uncomfortable and I notice a lot more staring when I'm
wearing mehndhi. I never knew how hard bridging two cultures would
be...not the right color in one place, not ethnic enough in another.

I am opting not to advertise to do indian weddings unless the job
comes to me through word of mouth. To me, this is an art form I
feel comfortable with because I've been doing it since the age of
12, and I have always thought of it the same way as hennaing hair,
and playing with makeup. I think the issue here of is mostly based
upon religion. In Indian cultures, most wedding mehndhi is either
done at a mehndhi house or by family members who mix it up
themselves and do it on the bride and each other. That is just my
family experience. but, since my family is Christian, mehndhi has
become more of a body adornment than a religious tradition. As you
mentioned, I'm not sure how but i have a feeling that it wouldn't go
over well to have a muslim doing mehndhi at a hindu wedding and vice
versa. They have ways of just knowing these things by names,
places, etc. it's way too complicated for me to understand - i
always have to defer that to my mom! it's like, how do you know
he's from the south? because his name ends with -ashi or whatever.
We must remember, that the places that mehndhi comes from have a
long history of strife, caste systems and pain along with the
richness, beauty, sprituality. For me, this will be a life long
confusion, especially because I don't understand or support any type
of bloodshed over who worships who. I guess that's why I'm a neo-
pagan-left-wing-tree-hugger!

meena
p.s. i think the pendulum has swung in another direction - that is,
when people of another culture immigrate here, they too need to join
the melting pot. you must do your best to embrace the culture of the
country in which you live, and if that means having american born
girls (which I am one) do your mehndhi, than so be it.

: Thank yo for sharing your point of view. It's important to hear
: such things from someone who bridges two cultures.
:
: I understand your point and I think it's valid that they are
: concerned about making a faux pas. What do you think a Hindu
: family would say if the henna artist were Indian but a muslim?
: Or if the henna artist were white but Hindu? I hope this isn't
rude
: to ask you...I am very curious and I have no one else to ask about
: this.
:
: I was once refused a job (as a second artist at a wedding, so
: probably doing guests) because I am an American terrorist
: whore. It was a gig for a religious muslim family and I had
: already agreed to work in hijab, but once it came out that I was
: american that's when the "terrorist whore" bit was said by the
: father of the bride. Ok, maybe not racism, but sure as heck was
: bigotry. As someone who has been very ashamed recently of
: what Americans are doing in my name, I was still shocked at this
: man's words.

Follow Ups

Re: Thanks, kenzi for the thoughtful discussion...more... Kenzi 13:06:16 6/10/2003 (1)
- ;-) Kenzi, you are truly a magical person. i got so much from this! n/t Meena 00:23:38 6/11/2003 (0)

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: Wow, that sounds like such a painful experience! I'm so sad for : you, and hope it never happens again. I know the feeling, probably : not unlike the ones I've had like being called a camel jockey or : towel head...it is so hurtful to experience. Things have become : increasingly uncomfortable and I notice a lot more staring when I'm : wearing mehndhi. I never knew how hard bridging two cultures would : be...not the right color in one place, not ethnic enough in another. : : I am opting not to advertise to do indian weddings unless the job : comes to me through word of mouth. To me, this is an art form I : feel comfortable with because I've been doing it since the age of : 12, and I have always thought of it the same way as hennaing hair, : and playing with makeup. I think the issue here of is mostly based : upon religion. In Indian cultures, most wedding mehndhi is either : done at a mehndhi house or by family members who mix it up : themselves and do it on the bride and each other. That is just my : family experience. but, since my family is Christian, mehndhi has : become more of a body adornment than a religious tradition. As you : mentioned, I'm not sure how but i have a feeling that it wouldn't go : over well to have a muslim doing mehndhi at a hindu wedding and vice : versa. They have ways of just knowing these things by names, : places, etc. it's way too complicated for me to understand - i : always have to defer that to my mom! it's like, how do you know : he's from the south? because his name ends with -ashi or whatever. : We must remember, that the places that mehndhi comes from have a : long history of strife, caste systems and pain along with the : richness, beauty, sprituality. For me, this will be a life long : confusion, especially because I don't understand or support any type : of bloodshed over who worships who. I guess that's why I'm a neo- : pagan-left-wing-tree-hugger! : : meena : p.s. i think the pendulum has swung in another direction - that is, : when people of another culture immigrate here, they too need to join : the melting pot. you must do your best to embrace the culture of the : country in which you live, and if that means having american born : girls (which I am one) do your mehndhi, than so be it. : : : Thank yo for sharing your point of view. It's important to hear : : such things from someone who bridges two cultures. : : : : I understand your point and I think it's valid that they are : : concerned about making a faux pas. What do you think a Hindu : : family would say if the henna artist were Indian but a muslim? : : Or if the henna artist were white but Hindu? I hope this isn't : rude : : to ask you...I am very curious and I have no one else to ask about : : this. : : : : I was once refused a job (as a second artist at a wedding, so : : probably doing guests) because I am an American terrorist : : whore. It was a gig for a religious muslim family and I had : : already agreed to work in hijab, but once it came out that I was : : american that's when the "terrorist whore" bit was said by the : : father of the bride. Ok, maybe not racism, but sure as heck was : : bigotry. As someone who has been very ashamed recently of : : what Americans are doing in my name, I was still shocked at this : : man's words.
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