I don't know if it makes you feel any better, but... (ridiculously long)

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Posted by Rose on June 11, 2003 at 05:30:23:

In reply to: Re: Henna racism - just a rant posted by Monica Tittle on June 9, 2003 at 16:37:53:

I understand your hurt feelings and I would just like to share the
following: Not only people from other ethnicities get discriminated
against. People of your own ethnicity or culture can discriminate
against you too: Mexican/Americans who grow up in California often
get treated like we just aren't Mexican enough by those on the other
side of the border no matter what we do. It feels like we have to be
twice as religious and make the best mole ever in order to get half
the respect, just because we grew up in another country and may be
of mixed blood. So, in the end instead of being from two cultures,
it's like you're from neither one and you get lost in some kind of
no man's land. This is even worse if you're light skinned like me.
People always tell me that they will always see me as really
American no matter how much time I spend going back and forth to
Mexico or how I act and what I do. My own extended family thinks I'm
not "Latina". But when I went to see my cousin who was born and
raised in France and is dark skinned everyone accepted that she is
latina even though she has no concept of the music or traditions in
Mexico; What!! My Indian boyfriend who came to the United States to
study got teased for adopting an American accent (not at all
detectable to an American =) when he went home to visit. So everyone
is trying to prove themselves and "keep it real" or whatever by some
arbitrary standards. Meanwhile Indian/Americans sometimes get called
ABCDs (American Born Confused Desis). I think this issue touches
everyone involved not just us. The issue is far deeper than skin
color or heritage and probably relates to a fear that you don't
really understand the significance or history of what you do. There
may be the fear that you will disrespect the culture in some way.

Having lived in France for a while, I get offended by people who
love Latin culture but think Latin Music is all Shakira and
Chayanne, or only know Tex Mex restaurants. I think another fear is
that someone will dilute your culture or make a mockery out of it
because they don't understand the complete richness and diversity of
it.

As an undergraduate I wrote my thesis on Classical South Indian
Dance, which I now study. I also sing Carnatic Music. I now wear
henna all the time. When I first met my boyfriend, he worried that I
was exoticizing India or that I didn't understand the real social
issues, and saw only a distorted "hippy view of Indian religion as
cool and lenient because Shiva smokes pot". However, if you seem to
be whole heartedly interested in not only learning about another
person's culture, but living it and accepted it for what it really
is, the initial skepticism wears off and you can be accepted. I
really haven't had a big problem being accepted into the Indian
community but this is most likely because I am so active in so many
aspects of Indian culture. I once had the darkest skin Indian look
right at my red hair and freckles in class and ask me if I'm part
Indian. I guess that's acceptance. Of course there is always some
older lady who pretends not to see you or something when you walk
into a room, but this might just be a cultural or generational
difference.

Oh, and then there is the weird kind of discrimination where you're
expected to know how to do something that you don't because of the
way you look or your cultural background. That sucks too.

I've lived in four countries and visited several others; Despite
trying desperately to escape it, everywhere I go I am confronted
with stereotypes and some minority of people that are just rude.
Don't take it too personally. I think that these are issues we all
have to face during our life no matter what color or skin is or
where we were raised.

A big hug,
Rose

Follow Ups

You hit the nail on the head regarding this issue,. Rose! more Meena 21:26:40 6/12/2003 (1)
- Thanks Meena Rose 08:23:18 6/13/2003 (0)

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Subject:
: I understand your hurt feelings and I would just like to share the : following: Not only people from other ethnicities get discriminated : against. People of your own ethnicity or culture can discriminate : against you too: Mexican/Americans who grow up in California often : get treated like we just aren't Mexican enough by those on the other : side of the border no matter what we do. It feels like we have to be : twice as religious and make the best mole ever in order to get half : the respect, just because we grew up in another country and may be : of mixed blood. So, in the end instead of being from two cultures, : it's like you're from neither one and you get lost in some kind of : no man's land. This is even worse if you're light skinned like me. : People always tell me that they will always see me as really : American no matter how much time I spend going back and forth to : Mexico or how I act and what I do. My own extended family thinks I'm : not "Latina". But when I went to see my cousin who was born and : raised in France and is dark skinned everyone accepted that she is : latina even though she has no concept of the music or traditions in : Mexico; What!! My Indian boyfriend who came to the United States to : study got teased for adopting an American accent (not at all : detectable to an American =) when he went home to visit. So everyone : is trying to prove themselves and "keep it real" or whatever by some : arbitrary standards. Meanwhile Indian/Americans sometimes get called : ABCDs (American Born Confused Desis). I think this issue touches : everyone involved not just us. The issue is far deeper than skin : color or heritage and probably relates to a fear that you don't : really understand the significance or history of what you do. There : may be the fear that you will disrespect the culture in some way. : : Having lived in France for a while, I get offended by people who : love Latin culture but think Latin Music is all Shakira and : Chayanne, or only know Tex Mex restaurants. I think another fear is : that someone will dilute your culture or make a mockery out of it : because they don't understand the complete richness and diversity of : it. : : As an undergraduate I wrote my thesis on Classical South Indian : Dance, which I now study. I also sing Carnatic Music. I now wear : henna all the time. When I first met my boyfriend, he worried that I : was exoticizing India or that I didn't understand the real social : issues, and saw only a distorted "hippy view of Indian religion as : cool and lenient because Shiva smokes pot". However, if you seem to : be whole heartedly interested in not only learning about another : person's culture, but living it and accepted it for what it really : is, the initial skepticism wears off and you can be accepted. I : really haven't had a big problem being accepted into the Indian : community but this is most likely because I am so active in so many : aspects of Indian culture. I once had the darkest skin Indian look : right at my red hair and freckles in class and ask me if I'm part : Indian. I guess that's acceptance. Of course there is always some : older lady who pretends not to see you or something when you walk : into a room, but this might just be a cultural or generational : difference. : : Oh, and then there is the weird kind of discrimination where you're : expected to know how to do something that you don't because of the : way you look or your cultural background. That sucks too. : : I've lived in four countries and visited several others; Despite : trying desperately to escape it, everywhere I go I am confronted : with stereotypes and some minority of people that are just rude. : Don't take it too personally. I think that these are issues we all : have to face during our life no matter what color or skin is or : where we were raised. : : A big hug, : Rose
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