You hit the nail on the head regarding this issue,. Rose! more

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Posted by Meena on June 12, 2003 at 21:26:40:

In reply to: I don't know if it makes you feel any better, but... (ridiculously long) posted by Rose on June 11, 2003 at 05:30:23:

I want to thank you for posting here, this is a sensitive issue for
me. Of all the opinions I have read, you very succinctly described
my life experience, and I feel much better that other people have
experienced the same thing. It's funny, not being Indian enough
ABCD is perfect ! LOL! yet my non-indian friends feel as if they
can freely report common stereotypes about indians to me. No man's
land is a good description, and I too, have been told that I'm
exoticising my culture. Anyway, thanks for posting, it made my day!

Namaste,
Meena

: I understand your hurt feelings and I would just like to share the
: following: Not only people from other ethnicities get
discriminated
: against. People of your own ethnicity or culture can discriminate
: against you too: Mexican/Americans who grow up in California often
: get treated like we just aren't Mexican enough by those on the
other
: side of the border no matter what we do. It feels like we have to
be
: twice as religious and make the best mole ever in order to get
half
: the respect, just because we grew up in another country and may be
: of mixed blood. So, in the end instead of being from two cultures,
: it's like you're from neither one and you get lost in some kind of
: no man's land. This is even worse if you're light skinned like me.
: People always tell me that they will always see me as really
: American no matter how much time I spend going back and forth to
: Mexico or how I act and what I do. My own extended family thinks
I'm
: not "Latina". But when I went to see my cousin who was born and
: raised in France and is dark skinned everyone accepted that she is
: latina even though she has no concept of the music or traditions
in
: Mexico; What!! My Indian boyfriend who came to the United States
to
: study got teased for adopting an American accent (not at all
: detectable to an American =) when he went home to visit. So
everyone
: is trying to prove themselves and "keep it real" or whatever by
some
: arbitrary standards. Meanwhile Indian/Americans sometimes get
called
: ABCDs (American Born Confused Desis). I think this issue touches
: everyone involved not just us. The issue is far deeper than skin
: color or heritage and probably relates to a fear that you don't
: really understand the significance or history of what you do.
There
: may be the fear that you will disrespect the culture in some way.
:
: Having lived in France for a while, I get offended by people who
: love Latin culture but think Latin Music is all Shakira and
: Chayanne, or only know Tex Mex restaurants. I think another fear
is
: that someone will dilute your culture or make a mockery out of it
: because they don't understand the complete richness and diversity
of
: it.
:
: As an undergraduate I wrote my thesis on Classical South Indian
: Dance, which I now study. I also sing Carnatic Music. I now wear
: henna all the time. When I first met my boyfriend, he worried that
I
: was exoticizing India or that I didn't understand the real social
: issues, and saw only a distorted "hippy view of Indian religion as
: cool and lenient because Shiva smokes pot". However, if you seem
to
: be whole heartedly interested in not only learning about another
: person's culture, but living it and accepted it for what it really
: is, the initial skepticism wears off and you can be accepted. I
: really haven't had a big problem being accepted into the Indian
: community but this is most likely because I am so active in so
many
: aspects of Indian culture. I once had the darkest skin Indian look
: right at my red hair and freckles in class and ask me if I'm part
: Indian. I guess that's acceptance. Of course there is always some
: older lady who pretends not to see you or something when you walk
: into a room, but this might just be a cultural or generational
: difference.
:
: Oh, and then there is the weird kind of discrimination where
you're
: expected to know how to do something that you don't because of the
: way you look or your cultural background. That sucks too.
:
: I've lived in four countries and visited several others; Despite
: trying desperately to escape it, everywhere I go I am confronted
: with stereotypes and some minority of people that are just rude.
: Don't take it too personally. I think that these are issues we all
: have to face during our life no matter what color or skin is or
: where we were raised.
:
: A big hug,
: Rose

Follow Ups

Thanks Meena Rose 08:23:18 6/13/2003 (0)

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Subject:
: I want to thank you for posting here, this is a sensitive issue for : me. Of all the opinions I have read, you very succinctly described : my life experience, and I feel much better that other people have : experienced the same thing. It's funny, not being Indian enough : ABCD is perfect ! LOL! yet my non-indian friends feel as if they : can freely report common stereotypes about indians to me. No man's : land is a good description, and I too, have been told that I'm : exoticising my culture. Anyway, thanks for posting, it made my day! : : Namaste, : Meena : : : : : I understand your hurt feelings and I would just like to share the : : following: Not only people from other ethnicities get : discriminated : : against. People of your own ethnicity or culture can discriminate : : against you too: Mexican/Americans who grow up in California often : : get treated like we just aren't Mexican enough by those on the : other : : side of the border no matter what we do. It feels like we have to : be : : twice as religious and make the best mole ever in order to get : half : : the respect, just because we grew up in another country and may be : : of mixed blood. So, in the end instead of being from two cultures, : : it's like you're from neither one and you get lost in some kind of : : no man's land. This is even worse if you're light skinned like me. : : People always tell me that they will always see me as really : : American no matter how much time I spend going back and forth to : : Mexico or how I act and what I do. My own extended family thinks : I'm : : not "Latina". But when I went to see my cousin who was born and : : raised in France and is dark skinned everyone accepted that she is : : latina even though she has no concept of the music or traditions : in : : Mexico; What!! My Indian boyfriend who came to the United States : to : : study got teased for adopting an American accent (not at all : : detectable to an American =) when he went home to visit. So : everyone : : is trying to prove themselves and "keep it real" or whatever by : some : : arbitrary standards. Meanwhile Indian/Americans sometimes get : called : : ABCDs (American Born Confused Desis). I think this issue touches : : everyone involved not just us. The issue is far deeper than skin : : color or heritage and probably relates to a fear that you don't : : really understand the significance or history of what you do. : There : : may be the fear that you will disrespect the culture in some way. : : : : Having lived in France for a while, I get offended by people who : : love Latin culture but think Latin Music is all Shakira and : : Chayanne, or only know Tex Mex restaurants. I think another fear : is : : that someone will dilute your culture or make a mockery out of it : : because they don't understand the complete richness and diversity : of : : it. : : : : As an undergraduate I wrote my thesis on Classical South Indian : : Dance, which I now study. I also sing Carnatic Music. I now wear : : henna all the time. When I first met my boyfriend, he worried that : I : : was exoticizing India or that I didn't understand the real social : : issues, and saw only a distorted "hippy view of Indian religion as : : cool and lenient because Shiva smokes pot". However, if you seem : to : : be whole heartedly interested in not only learning about another : : person's culture, but living it and accepted it for what it really : : is, the initial skepticism wears off and you can be accepted. I : : really haven't had a big problem being accepted into the Indian : : community but this is most likely because I am so active in so : many : : aspects of Indian culture. I once had the darkest skin Indian look : : right at my red hair and freckles in class and ask me if I'm part : : Indian. I guess that's acceptance. Of course there is always some : : older lady who pretends not to see you or something when you walk : : into a room, but this might just be a cultural or generational : : difference. : : : : Oh, and then there is the weird kind of discrimination where : you're : : expected to know how to do something that you don't because of the : : way you look or your cultural background. That sucks too. : : : : I've lived in four countries and visited several others; Despite : : trying desperately to escape it, everywhere I go I am confronted : : with stereotypes and some minority of people that are just rude. : : Don't take it too personally. I think that these are issues we all : : have to face during our life no matter what color or skin is or : : where we were raised. : : : : A big hug, : : Rose
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