not at a loss for words.....very very long "nearly topic" rant

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Posted by Willowhawk on July 12, 2003 at 22:49:50:

first off let me apologize for this (probably long) tirade....this
has been the worse ever henna event (emotionally and monetarily) for
me ever. I don't know where else to spew this tirade at...other
than here where someone might understand.
And if you don't like kids...click the 'back' button on your browser
and find something else to read :)

Yesterday morning I left my house w/ my 2 sons...loaded the car to
the maximum capacity (roof/seats/trunk) and we drove 250 miles to an
SCA event. The weather was in the high 80's/low 90's and we were
all hot and tired. Merchant space was first come first serve so I
went down the row and deposited my carload and proceeded to set up
my booth, dining area, and tent. My 3 year old son wandered next
door and tried to make off w/ the neighbors box of triscuits. She
offered him a couple but he wanted the whole box (typical of him).
My neighbors then proceed to tell me how they don't have kids this
age/thiers are grown and out of the house (or foster care as it
turns out)/they don't speak 'toddler'...etc. She says "I always
make children say please and thank you". Well ya know what...he
does it at home, he usually does it to people he knows...but to
strangers he's not so chatty. And while I am so upset...where
exactly do people get off trying to "teach" other people's children
manners. Do you force every ADULT to say 'please' and 'thank
you'....I don't think so. But hey...a 3 year old who's learning
constantly should just DO IT, right?

So we go back to our booth and I am sure there was a mini tantrum by
the 3 year old. So the other neighbor moves in (on the other side
of my booth) and she has a dog! So here we go again. They child
wants to play with the dog, then he just kept wandering over again
and again and I am just trying to get my camp set up. He's not
behaving, this is quite evident. Tantrum after tantrum, getting
into things...he walks into the 'triscuit' booth...NOT cool, then
wanders under their back wall...NOT cool...and still I am trying to
get camp set up. My oldest (13 years old) is child wrangling as
well as helping me. So the triscuit neighbors start whispering on
the best way to block off their wall to keep the child out....and
whatever else I didn't hear. But oh joy, I did get to hear their
catty gossip and cursing all evening long.
Then another tantrum when he can't play w/ a friends toy. By now I
have just about had it...pulling my hair out. Sat down in my booth
and started crying.
We have dinner, and the boys go to bed. Child doesn't want to sleep
but at least the screaming tantrums were over.
Dog barking all night w/ my other neighbor...wheeee...we are having
fun now. Realizing this was the biggest mistake I have ever
made...to bring the boys! I thought...hey it's the SCA...they
proclaim to be 'fun for ALL the family' evidently just not my
family. I felt really embarrassed that the child was behaving this
way, but also upset that there was such feeling of animosity from
both my merchant neighbors.

So this morning I am woken by the neigbors dog...at 8 am. Her loud
dog, my loud child. We wander to the potty, and on the way back my
neighbor w/ the dog has put out all her second hand
goods...conveniently putting the toys RIGHT NEXT TO MY BOOTH!!!.
Right where we have been walking for the last 12 hours. Well I am
sure you can guess what happens next...he gets a toy...I was going
to pay for it, because I knew it was something that he would play
with (a dragon) but before I could get my money she took it from
him. I am standing behind her trying to give her the money and
she's lecturing him and he's having a tantrum. I am trying to calm
him and pay...and finally I just put the money in his hand and the
dim bulb in her head goes off and realizes that I am buying it. So
she's already walked the 15 feet to put it away...the child goes to
the edge of her booth (10 feet from her) and holds out the money
while sniveling trying to calm down. He's figured out that this
paper in his hand will trade for the dragon. So she looks at him
and says "you need to come up here like a regular customer". Now
he's already gotten this into his head...paper for dragon?? Doesn't
understand why the lady won't take the paper things and give him the
toy. She comes over and picks him up (with my permission...and I am
just pulling my hair out at this point)...he starts crying
again...she takes him up front and takes the money and gives him the
dragon. Then he starts picking up the action figures trying to make
one fit on the dragon's back...the merchant starts in again "these
are mine not yours...etc" He was just trying to find a 'guy' to
ride the dragon...to see if one fit. ARGHHHH. Then she asks if
he's mechanically inclined and I said yes. She gets some spider toy
that transforms and shows him this. WTF???? She shows it to him,
OF COURSE he wants it. She makes him trade the dragon for it...mini
tantrum ensues. We go back to our booth finally, I call my husband
while the boys eat b'fast (yes...all this in the first 15 minutes we
are awake) and I tell my husband that I am packing down after the
site closes to the public. I'll be home late late tonight. Then my
child says...but I wanted the dragon! Ok...that's it...let's go for
a walk. I went and found the 1 merchant I knew, she has kids...tell
her what has been happening and that I am NOW going to go get my car
and load up and get the heck out of there. Find the merchant dude
and tell him I need to leave...no problem.
As I was pulling my car in, another merchant had arrived late...and
I knew her. I told her she could have my spot in the middle of
merchants row but I needed help w/ a quick tear down.
So we are tearing me down/loading me up...and unpacking her truck at
the same time. Now I am just really upset and sooooo mad.
Sandwiched between 2 people who so despise children....what a
slendid time to be had.
I am 3/4 the way loaded up and the dog neighbor looks at my child
who had the dragon (I gave my oldest the money to purchase it) and
the doglady just shrugged and pointed and I just barked..."it's paid
for...it's paid for" and she replied "what's going on". My
reply...I am OUTTA here...going home. She wants to know ...is it
something I said...something I did? I told her she was just a
contributing factor and that I didn't appreciate all the animosity
shown by people and I thought the SCA was supposed to be for family
fun. Merchanting in AnTir is getting pretty nasty.
About 10 minutes later the triscuit neighbor comes over and pats my
shoulder and says...
"My lady I know you are stressed but have you ever thought of having
your son tested for "....."(I didn't hear what she said). My
reply..shooting daggers at her through my sunglasses, and hissing
thru my teeth "he's 3 YEARS OLD!!!".
She then proceeds to tell me about ADD/ADHD and how it's never too
early to get them diagnosed because her son behaved this way at 3
and he had 'whatever disease' and now he's in foster care.
In ALL my life I have never been so insulted and humiliated by
someone...but this person takes the cake. I replied w/ my back to
her "thank you I'll check into it".
That was it...I lost it...broke down in tears and left to find my
merchant friend. I mean when will it end...how ruder and mean and
nasty do these people have to be.
1) ADD/ADHD/whatever disease she mentioned....I am sure this is a
totally CORRECT diagnosis from someone who had spent 10 waking hours
next to this child..EVER!
2) Does she REALLY think I am going to take the advice of someone
who's own 10 year child is in fostercare now? Maybe if I knew why
the kid was in foster care...but I don't so I am going to be
judgemental about her parenting skills. Uh...pot meet the kettle.

What has happened to people that instead of thinking that a child is
going through a phase in his life, instead he's sick and needs
chemicals to dull him. My child is in no way a mild kid...but he's
inquisitive, curious and more intelligent than I need him to be.
Just last month we had to get him off the TOP of the
fridge...lol...'hep mommy, i tuck'...because he figured out how to
use his naked skin as friction to pull himself up the counter then
fridge.

My child friendly merchant friends helped me w/ the remaining
loading, I said my good byes as well as "I don't think I will be
back next year in the SCA" got in my car and we got the heck out of
dodge. Child was fine the whole way home.

So...let's add up shall we...gas money, food money, clothing
expenses for the boys, weekends revenue...all gone. No chance to
recoup...spendy spendy way to pay for 1 night of misery. Not to
mention the fact that after listening to the triscuit neighbors
being catty all night long (gossiping about other
merchants/events/people)...I am sure that I shot my businesses
future in the foot.

Now if anyone wonders...why did I bring a 3 year old...it was a very
small event, thought they would actually have a good time...and I am
just tired of leaving them every weekend while I do mehendi on other
people's kids. I don't feel I have ever been 1/2 as rude and snotty
as my neighbors, to the people who's kids have been in my booth!

Ok..done now....so sorry...but now that I am home I am still very
upset at this.
And I hope everyone elses weekend was much much better!
Justine Willowhawk

 

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