Re: little boys rock!

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Posted by theadora on July 13, 2003 at 21:40:54:

In reply to: not at a loss for words.....very very long "nearly topic" rant posted by Willowhawk on July 12, 2003 at 22:49:50:

I honestly think most people who dont allow kidspace.It like they
are subhuman. Their supposed to be in business suits or something.
Especially in a setting hwere they have money at stake. Especially
in my experience with boys- have two myself.
They are supposed to be exactly how they are for good reason only in
these "civilized " times people want everything/one tame.
You're brave and strong and a wonderful mother from what I heard
from your post. I hope you get more consideration from your
neighbors at your future events.
Thanks for setting a good example for parents and for sticking up
for your three year old!

: first off let me apologize for this (probably long) tirade....this
: has been the worse ever henna event (emotionally and monetarily)
for
: me ever. I don't know where else to spew this tirade at...other
: than here where someone might understand.
: And if you don't like kids...click the 'back' button on your
browser
: and find something else to read :)
:
: Yesterday morning I left my house w/ my 2 sons...loaded the car to
: the maximum capacity (roof/seats/trunk) and we drove 250 miles to
an
: SCA event. The weather was in the high 80's/low 90's and we were
: all hot and tired. Merchant space was first come first serve so I
: went down the row and deposited my carload and proceeded to set up
: my booth, dining area, and tent. My 3 year old son wandered next
: door and tried to make off w/ the neighbors box of triscuits. She
: offered him a couple but he wanted the whole box (typical of
him).
: My neighbors then proceed to tell me how they don't have kids this
: age/thiers are grown and out of the house (or foster care as it
: turns out)/they don't speak 'toddler'...etc. She says "I always
: make children say please and thank you". Well ya know what...he
: does it at home, he usually does it to people he knows...but to
: strangers he's not so chatty. And while I am so upset...where
: exactly do people get off trying to "teach" other people's
children
: manners. Do you force every ADULT to say 'please' and 'thank
: you'....I don't think so. But hey...a 3 year old who's learning
: constantly should just DO IT, right?
:
: So we go back to our booth and I am sure there was a mini tantrum
by
: the 3 year old. So the other neighbor moves in (on the other side
: of my booth) and she has a dog! So here we go again. They child
: wants to play with the dog, then he just kept wandering over again
: and again and I am just trying to get my camp set up. He's not
: behaving, this is quite evident. Tantrum after tantrum, getting
: into things...he walks into the 'triscuit' booth...NOT cool, then
: wanders under their back wall...NOT cool...and still I am trying
to
: get camp set up. My oldest (13 years old) is child wrangling as
: well as helping me. So the triscuit neighbors start whispering on
: the best way to block off their wall to keep the child out....and
: whatever else I didn't hear. But oh joy, I did get to hear their
: catty gossip and cursing all evening long.
: Then another tantrum when he can't play w/ a friends toy. By now
I
: have just about had it...pulling my hair out. Sat down in my
booth
: and started crying.
: We have dinner, and the boys go to bed. Child doesn't want to
sleep
: but at least the screaming tantrums were over.
: Dog barking all night w/ my other neighbor...wheeee...we are
having
: fun now. Realizing this was the biggest mistake I have ever
: made...to bring the boys! I thought...hey it's the SCA...they
: proclaim to be 'fun for ALL the family' evidently just not my
: family. I felt really embarrassed that the child was behaving
this
: way, but also upset that there was such feeling of animosity from
: both my merchant neighbors.
:
: So this morning I am woken by the neigbors dog...at 8 am. Her
loud
: dog, my loud child. We wander to the potty, and on the way back
my
: neighbor w/ the dog has put out all her second hand
: goods...conveniently putting the toys RIGHT NEXT TO MY BOOTH!!!.
: Right where we have been walking for the last 12 hours. Well I am
: sure you can guess what happens next...he gets a toy...I was going
: to pay for it, because I knew it was something that he would play
: with (a dragon) but before I could get my money she took it from
: him. I am standing behind her trying to give her the money and
: she's lecturing him and he's having a tantrum. I am trying to
calm
: him and pay...and finally I just put the money in his hand and the
: dim bulb in her head goes off and realizes that I am buying it.
So
: she's already walked the 15 feet to put it away...the child goes
to
: the edge of her booth (10 feet from her) and holds out the money
: while sniveling trying to calm down. He's figured out that this
: paper in his hand will trade for the dragon. So she looks at him
: and says "you need to come up here like a regular customer". Now
: he's already gotten this into his head...paper for dragon??
Doesn't
: understand why the lady won't take the paper things and give him
the
: toy. She comes over and picks him up (with my permission...and I
am
: just pulling my hair out at this point)...he starts crying
: again...she takes him up front and takes the money and gives him
the
: dragon. Then he starts picking up the action figures trying to
make
: one fit on the dragon's back...the merchant starts in again "these
: are mine not yours...etc" He was just trying to find a 'guy' to
: ride the dragon...to see if one fit. ARGHHHH. Then she asks if
: he's mechanically inclined and I said yes. She gets some spider
toy
: that transforms and shows him this. WTF???? She shows it to him,
: OF COURSE he wants it. She makes him trade the dragon for
it...mini
: tantrum ensues. We go back to our booth finally, I call my
husband
: while the boys eat b'fast (yes...all this in the first 15 minutes
we
: are awake) and I tell my husband that I am packing down after the
: site closes to the public. I'll be home late late tonight. Then
my
: child says...but I wanted the dragon! Ok...that's it...let's go
for
: a walk. I went and found the 1 merchant I knew, she has
kids...tell
: her what has been happening and that I am NOW going to go get my
car
: and load up and get the heck out of there. Find the merchant dude
: and tell him I need to leave...no problem.
: As I was pulling my car in, another merchant had arrived
late...and
: I knew her. I told her she could have my spot in the middle of
: merchants row but I needed help w/ a quick tear down.
: So we are tearing me down/loading me up...and unpacking her truck
at
: the same time. Now I am just really upset and sooooo mad.
: Sandwiched between 2 people who so despise children....what a
: slendid time to be had.
: I am 3/4 the way loaded up and the dog neighbor looks at my child
: who had the dragon (I gave my oldest the money to purchase it) and
: the doglady just shrugged and pointed and I just barked..."it's
paid
: for...it's paid for" and she replied "what's going on". My
: reply...I am OUTTA here...going home. She wants to know ...is it
: something I said...something I did? I told her she was just a
: contributing factor and that I didn't appreciate all the animosity
: shown by people and I thought the SCA was supposed to be for
family
: fun. Merchanting in AnTir is getting pretty nasty.
: About 10 minutes later the triscuit neighbor comes over and pats
my
: shoulder and says...
: "My lady I know you are stressed but have you ever thought of
having
: your son tested for "....."(I didn't hear what she said). My
: reply..shooting daggers at her through my sunglasses, and hissing
: thru my teeth "he's 3 YEARS OLD!!!".
: She then proceeds to tell me about ADD/ADHD and how it's never too
: early to get them diagnosed because her son behaved this way at 3
: and he had 'whatever disease' and now he's in foster care.
: In ALL my life I have never been so insulted and humiliated by
: someone...but this person takes the cake. I replied w/ my back to
: her "thank you I'll check into it".
: That was it...I lost it...broke down in tears and left to find my
: merchant friend. I mean when will it end...how ruder and mean and
: nasty do these people have to be.
: 1) ADD/ADHD/whatever disease she mentioned....I am sure this is a
: totally CORRECT diagnosis from someone who had spent 10 waking
hours
: next to this child..EVER!
: 2) Does she REALLY think I am going to take the advice of someone
: who's own 10 year child is in fostercare now? Maybe if I knew why
: the kid was in foster care...but I don't so I am going to be
: judgemental about her parenting skills. Uh...pot meet the kettle.
:
: What has happened to people that instead of thinking that a child
is
: going through a phase in his life, instead he's sick and needs
: chemicals to dull him. My child is in no way a mild kid...but
he's
: inquisitive, curious and more intelligent than I need him to be.
: Just last month we had to get him off the TOP of the
: fridge...lol...'hep mommy, i tuck'...because he figured out how to
: use his naked skin as friction to pull himself up the counter then
: fridge.
:
: My child friendly merchant friends helped me w/ the remaining
: loading, I said my good byes as well as "I don't think I will be
: back next year in the SCA" got in my car and we got the heck out
of
: dodge. Child was fine the whole way home.
:
: So...let's add up shall we...gas money, food money, clothing
: expenses for the boys, weekends revenue...all gone. No chance to
: recoup...spendy spendy way to pay for 1 night of misery. Not to
: mention the fact that after listening to the triscuit neighbors
: being catty all night long (gossiping about other
: merchants/events/people)...I am sure that I shot my businesses
: future in the foot.
:
: Now if anyone wonders...why did I bring a 3 year old...it was a
very
: small event, thought they would actually have a good time...and I
am
: just tired of leaving them every weekend while I do mehendi on
other
: people's kids. I don't feel I have ever been 1/2 as rude and
snotty
: as my neighbors, to the people who's kids have been in my booth!
:
: Ok..done now....so sorry...but now that I am home I am still very
: upset at this.
: And I hope everyone elses weekend was much much better!
: Justine Willowhawk

Follow Ups

That's a very good point- he saw you stick up for him! Lauren 21:50:49 7/13/2003 (1)
- Re: That's a very good point- he saw you stick up for him! Willowhawk 22:22:49 7/13/2003 (0)

Post Followup

Name:
E-Mail:
Subject:
: I honestly think most people who dont allow kidspace.It like they : are subhuman. Their supposed to be in business suits or something. : Especially in a setting hwere they have money at stake. Especially : in my experience with boys- have two myself. : They are supposed to be exactly how they are for good reason only in : these "civilized " times people want everything/one tame. : You're brave and strong and a wonderful mother from what I heard : from your post. I hope you get more consideration from your : neighbors at your future events. : Thanks for setting a good example for parents and for sticking up : for your three year old! : : : first off let me apologize for this (probably long) tirade....this : : has been the worse ever henna event (emotionally and monetarily) : for : : me ever. I don't know where else to spew this tirade at...other : : than here where someone might understand. : : And if you don't like kids...click the 'back' button on your : browser : : and find something else to read :) : : : : Yesterday morning I left my house w/ my 2 sons...loaded the car to : : the maximum capacity (roof/seats/trunk) and we drove 250 miles to : an : : SCA event. The weather was in the high 80's/low 90's and we were : : all hot and tired. Merchant space was first come first serve so I : : went down the row and deposited my carload and proceeded to set up : : my booth, dining area, and tent. My 3 year old son wandered next : : door and tried to make off w/ the neighbors box of triscuits. She : : offered him a couple but he wanted the whole box (typical of : him). : : My neighbors then proceed to tell me how they don't have kids this : : age/thiers are grown and out of the house (or foster care as it : : turns out)/they don't speak 'toddler'...etc. She says "I always : : make children say please and thank you". Well ya know what...he : : does it at home, he usually does it to people he knows...but to : : strangers he's not so chatty. And while I am so upset...where : : exactly do people get off trying to "teach" other people's : children : : manners. Do you force every ADULT to say 'please' and 'thank : : you'....I don't think so. But hey...a 3 year old who's learning : : constantly should just DO IT, right? : : : : So we go back to our booth and I am sure there was a mini tantrum : by : : the 3 year old. So the other neighbor moves in (on the other side : : of my booth) and she has a dog! So here we go again. They child : : wants to play with the dog, then he just kept wandering over again : : and again and I am just trying to get my camp set up. He's not : : behaving, this is quite evident. Tantrum after tantrum, getting : : into things...he walks into the 'triscuit' booth...NOT cool, then : : wanders under their back wall...NOT cool...and still I am trying : to : : get camp set up. My oldest (13 years old) is child wrangling as : : well as helping me. So the triscuit neighbors start whispering on : : the best way to block off their wall to keep the child out....and : : whatever else I didn't hear. But oh joy, I did get to hear their : : catty gossip and cursing all evening long. : : Then another tantrum when he can't play w/ a friends toy. By now : I : : have just about had it...pulling my hair out. Sat down in my : booth : : and started crying. : : We have dinner, and the boys go to bed. Child doesn't want to : sleep : : but at least the screaming tantrums were over. : : Dog barking all night w/ my other neighbor...wheeee...we are : having : : fun now. Realizing this was the biggest mistake I have ever : : made...to bring the boys! I thought...hey it's the SCA...they : : proclaim to be 'fun for ALL the family' evidently just not my : : family. I felt really embarrassed that the child was behaving : this : : way, but also upset that there was such feeling of animosity from : : both my merchant neighbors. : : : : So this morning I am woken by the neigbors dog...at 8 am. Her : loud : : dog, my loud child. We wander to the potty, and on the way back : my : : neighbor w/ the dog has put out all her second hand : : goods...conveniently putting the toys RIGHT NEXT TO MY BOOTH!!!. : : Right where we have been walking for the last 12 hours. Well I am : : sure you can guess what happens next...he gets a toy...I was going : : to pay for it, because I knew it was something that he would play : : with (a dragon) but before I could get my money she took it from : : him. I am standing behind her trying to give her the money and : : she's lecturing him and he's having a tantrum. I am trying to : calm : : him and pay...and finally I just put the money in his hand and the : : dim bulb in her head goes off and realizes that I am buying it. : So : : she's already walked the 15 feet to put it away...the child goes : to : : the edge of her booth (10 feet from her) and holds out the money : : while sniveling trying to calm down. He's figured out that this : : paper in his hand will trade for the dragon. So she looks at him : : and says "you need to come up here like a regular customer". Now : : he's already gotten this into his head...paper for dragon?? : Doesn't : : understand why the lady won't take the paper things and give him : the : : toy. She comes over and picks him up (with my permission...and I : am : : just pulling my hair out at this point)...he starts crying : : again...she takes him up front and takes the money and gives him : the : : dragon. Then he starts picking up the action figures trying to : make : : one fit on the dragon's back...the merchant starts in again "these : : are mine not yours...etc" He was just trying to find a 'guy' to : : ride the dragon...to see if one fit. ARGHHHH. Then she asks if : : he's mechanically inclined and I said yes. She gets some spider : toy : : that transforms and shows him this. WTF???? She shows it to him, : : OF COURSE he wants it. She makes him trade the dragon for : it...mini : : tantrum ensues. We go back to our booth finally, I call my : husband : : while the boys eat b'fast (yes...all this in the first 15 minutes : we : : are awake) and I tell my husband that I am packing down after the : : site closes to the public. I'll be home late late tonight. Then : my : : child says...but I wanted the dragon! Ok...that's it...let's go : for : : a walk. I went and found the 1 merchant I knew, she has : kids...tell : : her what has been happening and that I am NOW going to go get my : car : : and load up and get the heck out of there. Find the merchant dude : : and tell him I need to leave...no problem. : : As I was pulling my car in, another merchant had arrived : late...and : : I knew her. I told her she could have my spot in the middle of : : merchants row but I needed help w/ a quick tear down. : : So we are tearing me down/loading me up...and unpacking her truck : at : : the same time. Now I am just really upset and sooooo mad. : : Sandwiched between 2 people who so despise children....what a : : slendid time to be had. : : I am 3/4 the way loaded up and the dog neighbor looks at my child : : who had the dragon (I gave my oldest the money to purchase it) and : : the doglady just shrugged and pointed and I just barked..."it's : paid : : for...it's paid for" and she replied "what's going on". My : : reply...I am OUTTA here...going home. She wants to know ...is it : : something I said...something I did? I told her she was just a : : contributing factor and that I didn't appreciate all the animosity : : shown by people and I thought the SCA was supposed to be for : family : : fun. Merchanting in AnTir is getting pretty nasty. : : About 10 minutes later the triscuit neighbor comes over and pats : my : : shoulder and says... : : "My lady I know you are stressed but have you ever thought of : having : : your son tested for "....."(I didn't hear what she said). My : : reply..shooting daggers at her through my sunglasses, and hissing : : thru my teeth "he's 3 YEARS OLD!!!". : : She then proceeds to tell me about ADD/ADHD and how it's never too : : early to get them diagnosed because her son behaved this way at 3 : : and he had 'whatever disease' and now he's in foster care. : : In ALL my life I have never been so insulted and humiliated by : : someone...but this person takes the cake. I replied w/ my back to : : her "thank you I'll check into it". : : That was it...I lost it...broke down in tears and left to find my : : merchant friend. I mean when will it end...how ruder and mean and : : nasty do these people have to be. : : 1) ADD/ADHD/whatever disease she mentioned....I am sure this is a : : totally CORRECT diagnosis from someone who had spent 10 waking : hours : : next to this child..EVER! : : 2) Does she REALLY think I am going to take the advice of someone : : who's own 10 year child is in fostercare now? Maybe if I knew why : : the kid was in foster care...but I don't so I am going to be : : judgemental about her parenting skills. Uh...pot meet the kettle. : : : : What has happened to people that instead of thinking that a child : is : : going through a phase in his life, instead he's sick and needs : : chemicals to dull him. My child is in no way a mild kid...but : he's : : inquisitive, curious and more intelligent than I need him to be. : : Just last month we had to get him off the TOP of the : : fridge...lol...'hep mommy, i tuck'...because he figured out how to : : use his naked skin as friction to pull himself up the counter then : : fridge. : : : : My child friendly merchant friends helped me w/ the remaining : : loading, I said my good byes as well as "I don't think I will be : : back next year in the SCA" got in my car and we got the heck out : of : : dodge. Child was fine the whole way home. : : : : So...let's add up shall we...gas money, food money, clothing : : expenses for the boys, weekends revenue...all gone. No chance to : : recoup...spendy spendy way to pay for 1 night of misery. Not to : : mention the fact that after listening to the triscuit neighbors : : being catty all night long (gossiping about other : : merchants/events/people)...I am sure that I shot my businesses : : future in the foot. : : : : Now if anyone wonders...why did I bring a 3 year old...it was a : very : : small event, thought they would actually have a good time...and I : am : : just tired of leaving them every weekend while I do mehendi on : other : : people's kids. I don't feel I have ever been 1/2 as rude and : snotty : : as my neighbors, to the people who's kids have been in my booth! : : : : Ok..done now....so sorry...but now that I am home I am still very : : upset at this. : : And I hope everyone elses weekend was much much better! : : Justine Willowhawk
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