My final letter to him

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Posted by Nick on August 14, 2003 at 19:06:19:

In reply to: Infuriating: more on henna vs. bod mod posted by Nick on August 13, 2003 at 18:44:03:

Below is the letter that I sent to him this morning:

Fine, you win. I'll stop trying to contribute to this community in
the best way I know how, because I can see that it's not welcome. If
you are going to tell me over and over again that the art I pour
myself into is nothing but meaningless fashion, i don't need to
listen to that. I can only assume that this is the first time you've
had any serious contact with henna, and your unwillingness to hear my
reasoning astounds me. The bottom line remains in my eyes that the
interest is there. I'm not the only person on BME who would read
something like I originally had in mind to write for you. And what
you have in the current gallery of henna photos is such a poor
representation. All I wanted to do was to do what i can to help
improve that one aspect of bme for other readers with similar
interests. But I can see that all my efforts aren't good enough. For
a community built around the ideals of acceptance, growth, and
positive change, things sure have gotten narrow minded around here.
And as a final hopeless stab at your reasoning for why henna
shouldn't be here, henna makes people happy. I have known self
cutters who were introduced to henna and stopped cutting. Henna gave
them a reason to beautify their bodies rather than destroy them. An
important focus of this website is replacing destructive behavior
with constructive things, like getting a piercing instead of slitting
one's wrists. Henna has performed that function, and to remove it
would ensure that no reader of BME ever benefitted from it again. On
a final note, i've tried my hardest to give you good academic reasons
to include henna on BME, and been met with hostility. I've done
nothing but try to satisfy your critera for what's included here.
You've given me no reason to continue trying to win you over, so i'm
not going to.
Respectfully yours,
~Nick Cartier

And the following is his reply... useless and evasive as usual:

>Fine, you win. I'll stop trying to contribute to this
>community in the best way I know how, because I can see that
>it's not welcome. If you are going to tell me over and over
>again that the art I pour myself into is nothing but
>meaningless fashion, i don't need to listen to that. I can

I'm not telling you it's not meaningless fashion. I'm telling you
it's not the subject matter of BME.

AGAIN: Tell me how henna is either permanent body modification or
body ritual. You have not done so. It doesn't matter how valid it is,
if it's not related to BME's subject matter, why would it be covered?

---------

Haven't i done so? I've given him many instances that could qualify
as body ritual. It's already there, so why can't i add to it and make
it better? It's like talking to a freaking wall! I don't intend to
write back, because this narrow minded jerk isn't worth any more of
my time.
~Nick

Follow Ups

Good writing, Nick! n/t Anne Beltestad 06:20:42 8/15/2003 (0)
Re: My final letter to him Ilithiya 01:27:22 8/15/2003 (1)
- Re: My final letter to him Nick 10:10:09 8/15/2003 (0)
Re: My final letter to him Alison 22:06:07 8/14/2003 (0)

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Name:
E-Mail:
Subject:
: Below is the letter that I sent to him this morning: : : Fine, you win. I'll stop trying to contribute to this community in : the best way I know how, because I can see that it's not welcome. If : you are going to tell me over and over again that the art I pour : myself into is nothing but meaningless fashion, i don't need to : listen to that. I can only assume that this is the first time you've : had any serious contact with henna, and your unwillingness to hear my : reasoning astounds me. The bottom line remains in my eyes that the : interest is there. I'm not the only person on BME who would read : something like I originally had in mind to write for you. And what : you have in the current gallery of henna photos is such a poor : representation. All I wanted to do was to do what i can to help : improve that one aspect of bme for other readers with similar : interests. But I can see that all my efforts aren't good enough. For : a community built around the ideals of acceptance, growth, and : positive change, things sure have gotten narrow minded around here. : And as a final hopeless stab at your reasoning for why henna : shouldn't be here, henna makes people happy. I have known self : cutters who were introduced to henna and stopped cutting. Henna gave : them a reason to beautify their bodies rather than destroy them. An : important focus of this website is replacing destructive behavior : with constructive things, like getting a piercing instead of slitting : one's wrists. Henna has performed that function, and to remove it : would ensure that no reader of BME ever benefitted from it again. On : a final note, i've tried my hardest to give you good academic reasons : to include henna on BME, and been met with hostility. I've done : nothing but try to satisfy your critera for what's included here. : You've given me no reason to continue trying to win you over, so i'm : not going to. : Respectfully yours, : ~Nick Cartier : : And the following is his reply... useless and evasive as usual: : : : >Fine, you win. I'll stop trying to contribute to this : >community in the best way I know how, because I can see that : >it's not welcome. If you are going to tell me over and over : >again that the art I pour myself into is nothing but : >meaningless fashion, i don't need to listen to that. I can : : I'm not telling you it's not meaningless fashion. I'm telling you : it's not the subject matter of BME. : : AGAIN: Tell me how henna is either permanent body modification or : body ritual. You have not done so. It doesn't matter how valid it is, : if it's not related to BME's subject matter, why would it be covered? : : --------- : : Haven't i done so? I've given him many instances that could qualify : as body ritual. It's already there, so why can't i add to it and make : it better? It's like talking to a freaking wall! I don't intend to : write back, because this narrow minded jerk isn't worth any more of : my time. : ~Nick
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