SHAMELESS PLUGS - A one-act horror/comedy sketch

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Posted by Frustrated on July 17, 2001 at 18:28:31:

Advertiser 1: BUY MY HENNA IT IS THE BESTEST IN ALL INDIA SO YOU
SHOULD BUY MY HENNA BECAUSE IT IS THE BESTEST. IN INDIA.

Forum-goer 1: I hate when people do that! I really wish they'd leave
the forum for discussions about henna, not about *buying* it.

Advertiser 2: I couldn't agree more! Besides, if you go to my website,
you'll see that his henna can't possibly be the "bestest" --what kind
of pidgin English is that anyway -- because MINE is.

**********

Forum-goer 2: Hey, does anyone know how to get a good, dark stain?

Advertiser 3: Yup... try the recipe on my web site. But while you're
there, also buy my henna. It's the only way you're really guaranteed
to get a dark stain. I'm not saying anyone else uses Clorox or glass
shards in theirs. I'm not saying that at all. I'm just saying mine
is pure, that's all.

**********

Forum-goer 3: I'm a new henna artist. I'd love to hear some of your
stories about challenges in the art form, at the ren fairs, etc. and
how you overcome them.

Advertiser 2: My biggest challenge is, you need to buy my henna. When
I get your money, I will send you a brochure telling you all about
how I overcome it.

Advertiser 1: Hey, I thought you told me we shouldn't use the forum to
advertise!

Advertiser 2: Shut-up, you! I'm in the middle of a sale.

************

Forum-goer 4: Hey, just wanted to say, this is a really beautiful art
form. I've been looking at the pictures and may want to get into it
myself.

Advertiser 3: Glad to hear it! It is indeed a beautiful art form.
And just like Advertiser 2, I also sell very high quality henna,
except you should buy mine because I'm not blatantly advertising
like he is, I'm just letting my subtle little sales pitch ride on
the coattails of his.

Forum-goer 4: Umm, do you see that as different somehow?

Advertiser 3: What? Did you say you want to buy some now?
Did I mention I don't thin my powder out using ground-up baby seals?

Forum-goer 4: IS THERE ANYONE HERE WHO ISN'T JUST USING THIS FORUM
AS A FREE, NEVERENDING INFOMERCIAL?!

Advertiser 1: Sure there am! And for ten american dollares (plus s/h)
I will sending you a list of these peoples -- and 100g of the
bestest henna in India...

~~~The End~~~

Follow Ups

My, what a lively discussion.... Kim 06:49:01 7/18/2001 (2)
- Couldn't have said it better myself! (n/t) BarefootSophie 19:13:45 7/18/2001 (0)
- Word of mouth Joe B 17:17:51 7/18/2001 (0)
I hope I have not offended anyone. Lauren 21:16:29 7/17/2001 (5)
- I am not offended. Faery Ring 21:59:01 7/17/2001 (4)
  - why info god? rachael 23:35:46 7/17/2001 (2)
    - Are you talking to me? Faery Ring 23:57:45 7/17/2001 (1)
      - Re: Are you talking to me? Rachael 02:32:18 7/18/2001 (0)
  - Re: I am not offended either Info God = wisdom of all 22:30:18 7/17/2001 (0)
Agree Wholeheartedly! Anne Beltestad 19:17:13 7/17/2001 (6)
- me too...and another thing Kenzi 22:56:54 7/17/2001 (0)
- DITTO on your 'two cents to add' Willowhawk 22:51:38 7/17/2001 (4)
  - Thanks Willowhawk...and hope to meet you someday! n/t Anne Beltestad 23:13:34 7/17/2001 (3)
    - Bite of Seattle Willowhawk 23:17:30 7/17/2001 (2)
      - Yes, all day! Anne Beltestad 17:19:26 7/18/2001 (1)
        
        Wonderful!!! Willowhawk 18:37:23 7/18/2001 (0)
SHAMELESS PLUGS - Epilogue Frustrated 18:31:10 7/17/2001 (5)
- Re: SHAMELESS PLUGS - Epilogue Nick 21:42:14 7/17/2001 (1)
  - Re: SHAMELESS PLUGS - Epilogue Daniel 22:44:24 7/17/2001 (0)
- I think it bears mentioning... BarefootSophie 19:17:32 7/17/2001 (0)
- sorry about that empty reply-cats like keyboards. Rachael 18:42:37 7/17/2001 (0)
- Re: SHAMELESS PLUGS - Epilogue Rachael 18:38:25 7/17/2001 (0)

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Subject:
: Advertiser 1: BUY MY HENNA IT IS THE BESTEST IN ALL INDIA SO YOU : SHOULD BUY MY HENNA BECAUSE IT IS THE BESTEST. IN INDIA. : : Forum-goer 1: I hate when people do that! I really wish they'd leave : the forum for discussions about henna, not about buying it. : : Advertiser 2: I couldn't agree more! Besides, if you go to my website, : you'll see that his henna can't possibly be the "bestest" --what kind : of pidgin English is that anyway -- because MINE is. : : ******** : : Forum-goer 2: Hey, does anyone know how to get a good, dark stain? : : Advertiser 3: Yup... try the recipe on my web site. But while you're : there, also buy my henna. It's the only way you're really guaranteed : to get a dark stain. I'm not saying anyone else uses Clorox or glass : shards in theirs. I'm not saying that at all. I'm just saying mine : is pure, that's all. : : ****** : : Forum-goer 3: I'm a new henna artist. I'd love to hear some of your : stories about challenges in the art form, at the ren fairs, etc. and : how you overcome them. : : Advertiser 2: My biggest challenge is, you need to buy my henna. When : I get your money, I will send you a brochure telling you all about : how I overcome it. : : Advertiser 1: Hey, I thought you told me we shouldn't use the forum to : advertise! : : Advertiser 2: Shut-up, you! I'm in the middle of a sale. : : ********** : : Forum-goer 4: Hey, just wanted to say, this is a really beautiful art : form. I've been looking at the pictures and may want to get into it : myself. : : Advertiser 3: Glad to hear it! It is indeed a beautiful art form. : And just like Advertiser 2, I also sell very high quality henna, : except you should buy mine because I'm not blatantly advertising : like he is, I'm just letting my subtle little sales pitch ride on : the coattails of his. : : Forum-goer 4: Umm, do you see that as different somehow? : : Advertiser 3: What? Did you say you want to buy some now? : Did I mention I don't thin my powder out using ground-up baby seals? : : Forum-goer 4: IS THERE ANYONE HERE WHO ISN'T JUST USING THIS FORUM : AS A FREE, NEVERENDING INFOMERCIAL?! : : Advertiser 1: Sure there am! And for ten american dollares (plus s/h) : I will sending you a list of these peoples -- and 100g of the : bestest henna in India... : : ~~~The End~~~
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