Recipe for Disaster

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Posted by Alissa on August 3, 2001 at 15:21:39:

At 4 a.m., without imbibing coffee before hand, combine the
following :

- One new mother up since 3 a.m. with backpain, and laboring under
the delusion that she can beat inhuman odds and be fully functional
and henna herself despite weeks of sleep deprivation

- One batch of highly terped henna paste, so enthusiastically terped
up that its become oily. The oil should separate from henna upon
application and spread into the fine lines of the skin. It should
also be extremely fast acting in its dye release on to the skin.

- One complex Navneet pattern, never before tried, and chosen because
she believes it will bring her good luck for an audition she has on
Saturday and wants to paint her palm for.

- One lamp providing abymismally poor light to see by.

Begin by deciding in 4 a.m. wisdom to modify the pattern before even
starting and then proceed to go from there, modifying beyond the
point of pattern recognition. Resolutely ignore the smearing effect
of the too-oily henna and continue with application and modification
despite the warning voice in your head.

Refer back to Navneet original to ensure that you are now hopelessly
off the pattern, and that the henna really is spreading like ooze
instead of maintaining crisp lines. Correct the spreading by adding
even more paste, creating clunky chunky erratic and generally clumsy
looking results. Sigh often and look perplexed, as if you really
didn't expect this to happen.

After 40 minutes, realize you have gone past the point of salvaging
this design and resign yourself to now trying to remove it as fast as
you can because it depresses you to look at it. Do not wait for it to
dry and fall off, as originally planned.

Rinse off paste, hoping that CCJ was wrong about terp pastes not
needing traditional after care precautions. Note brilliant pumpkin
stain already visible. Sigh again.

Scrub palm for 20 minutes with Lysol disinfectant wipe, hoping for it
to have a bleaching quality (per previous post). There will be some
small amounts of orange on the wipe afterwards, but the design is
definitely depressingly still visible.

Go back to bed and feed infant for his 5 a.m. feeding.

Drift in a funk of oh-hell-i-screwed-that-up for about 40 minutes
before finally going back to sleep.

Wake up one hour later as husband kisses you goodbye and infant wants
7 a.m. feeding. Reluctantly glance at palm and verify it wasn't a
dream as you had hoped. Note how it has already changed color to a
darker pumpkin orange.

Lastly, post your experience on a web page forum dedicated to the
mysterious plant called henna for readers internationally to know of
your failure and what not to do themselves. This is best done if you
laugh about it while you type.

** There's a saying in theatre : Bad dress rehearsal means a good
openning night." Ok so, bad henna design means a good audition ??
Well, one can hope. Think I will wait until the coffee kicks in and
try another round of decorating the back of the same hand this
afternoon -- and this time I expect to get better results.

Follow Ups

Re: Recipe for Disaster Kenzi 00:31:32 8/4/2001 (0)
Re: Recipe for Disaster Lisa K 19:11:07 8/3/2001 (0)
Re: Recipe for Disaster -- my recent disaster CorasMama 16:33:46 8/3/2001 (1)
- Re: Recipe for Disaster -- my recent disaster Jenna 17:00:53 8/3/2001 (0)
Re: Recipe for Disaster LORRY 16:11:17 8/3/2001 (0)
Re: Recipe for Disaster LORRY 16:10:23 8/3/2001 (0)

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: At 4 a.m., without imbibing coffee before hand, combine the : following : : : - One new mother up since 3 a.m. with backpain, and laboring under : the delusion that she can beat inhuman odds and be fully functional : and henna herself despite weeks of sleep deprivation : : - One batch of highly terped henna paste, so enthusiastically terped : up that its become oily. The oil should separate from henna upon : application and spread into the fine lines of the skin. It should : also be extremely fast acting in its dye release on to the skin. : : - One complex Navneet pattern, never before tried, and chosen because : she believes it will bring her good luck for an audition she has on : Saturday and wants to paint her palm for. : : - One lamp providing abymismally poor light to see by. : : Begin by deciding in 4 a.m. wisdom to modify the pattern before even : starting and then proceed to go from there, modifying beyond the : point of pattern recognition. Resolutely ignore the smearing effect : of the too-oily henna and continue with application and modification : despite the warning voice in your head. : : Refer back to Navneet original to ensure that you are now hopelessly : off the pattern, and that the henna really is spreading like ooze : instead of maintaining crisp lines. Correct the spreading by adding : even more paste, creating clunky chunky erratic and generally clumsy : looking results. Sigh often and look perplexed, as if you really : didn't expect this to happen. : : After 40 minutes, realize you have gone past the point of salvaging : this design and resign yourself to now trying to remove it as fast as : you can because it depresses you to look at it. Do not wait for it to : dry and fall off, as originally planned. : : Rinse off paste, hoping that CCJ was wrong about terp pastes not : needing traditional after care precautions. Note brilliant pumpkin : stain already visible. Sigh again. : : Scrub palm for 20 minutes with Lysol disinfectant wipe, hoping for it : to have a bleaching quality (per previous post). There will be some : small amounts of orange on the wipe afterwards, but the design is : definitely depressingly still visible. : : Go back to bed and feed infant for his 5 a.m. feeding. : : Drift in a funk of oh-hell-i-screwed-that-up for about 40 minutes : before finally going back to sleep. : : Wake up one hour later as husband kisses you goodbye and infant wants : 7 a.m. feeding. Reluctantly glance at palm and verify it wasn't a : dream as you had hoped. Note how it has already changed color to a : darker pumpkin orange. : : Lastly, post your experience on a web page forum dedicated to the : mysterious plant called henna for readers internationally to know of : your failure and what not to do themselves. This is best done if you : laugh about it while you type. : : ** There's a saying in theatre : Bad dress rehearsal means a good : openning night." Ok so, bad henna design means a good audition ?? : Well, one can hope. Think I will wait until the coffee kicks in and : try another round of decorating the back of the same hand this : afternoon -- and this time I expect to get better results.
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