Re: Help.

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Posted by Sarah Jasmijn on September 15, 2001 at 09:21:46:

In reply to: Help. posted by Khoa on September 15, 2001 at 07:27:43:

Khoa,

Breathe! The most important thing you can do right now is breathe. Perhaps you learned to breathe in a voice class or a meditation class. If so, remember those skills now. If not, just lie on the floor, or your bed or somewhere you feel safe and let your body sink into the floor. You don't have to go for breathing deeply, just breathe evenly. That's enough. You need to relax your body to start addressing what you feel. This may seem difficult in the face of overwhelming emotions, but it's what you need to do.

I'm not a psychiatrist, but psychiatrists tend to deal with long term effects. What you are dealing with now is crisis. Try to find someone who can help you with this, like a crisis counselor or just a caring friend or acqaintance or, indeed, even your friendly neighbourhood psychiatrist if he or she can help you. (And if you feel you need help dealing with this a week, a month or a year from now, please, do seek out a helpful counselor!)

I don't know what you are feeling right now, but 'helpless' and 'overwhelmed' are probably part of the picture right now. The breathing and talking to understanding people should help with the overwhelmed. When you are feeling a little less overwhelmed, you can start thinking about the helpless part. Perhaps there is a charity you can contribute to. Perhaps there is another friend who feels just as overwhelmed as you do who needs your shoulder to cry on. Perhaps going on and doing normal things is the best way to contribute to getting things back to normalcy. The mayor of Washington lifted the state of emergency. While the city is still on increased alert, the mayor said he also wanted to send the signal that it is important to get back to normal life. (I'm rephrasing, I read the report at www.reuters.com if you're interested.) You need to do the same.

The only other thing I know how to say is that there are no real 'shortcuts' for grief, whether it's grief for yourself, someone else, or just the general awfulness of what happened. It is painful. The only thing you can do is honor that feeling, and take care of yourself.

All of which is only my humble opinion, feel free to take what feels helpful, and discard what doesn't work for you. It's your grief, they are your feelings, and only you know what works for you in processing your feelings.

I hope some of this helps,

Sarah Jasmijn

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: Khoa, : : Breathe! The most important thing you can do right now is breathe. Perhaps you learned to breathe in a voice class or a meditation class. If so, remember those skills now. If not, just lie on the floor, or your bed or somewhere you feel safe and let your body sink into the floor. You don't have to go for breathing deeply, just breathe evenly. That's enough. You need to relax your body to start addressing what you feel. This may seem difficult in the face of overwhelming emotions, but it's what you need to do. : : I'm not a psychiatrist, but psychiatrists tend to deal with long term effects. What you are dealing with now is crisis. Try to find someone who can help you with this, like a crisis counselor or just a caring friend or acqaintance or, indeed, even your friendly neighbourhood psychiatrist if he or she can help you. (And if you feel you need help dealing with this a week, a month or a year from now, please, do seek out a helpful counselor!) : : I don't know what you are feeling right now, but 'helpless' and 'overwhelmed' are probably part of the picture right now. The breathing and talking to understanding people should help with the overwhelmed. When you are feeling a little less overwhelmed, you can start thinking about the helpless part. Perhaps there is a charity you can contribute to. Perhaps there is another friend who feels just as overwhelmed as you do who needs your shoulder to cry on. Perhaps going on and doing normal things is the best way to contribute to getting things back to normalcy. The mayor of Washington lifted the state of emergency. While the city is still on increased alert, the mayor said he also wanted to send the signal that it is important to get back to normal life. (I'm rephrasing, I read the report at www.reuters.com if you're interested.) You need to do the same. : : The only other thing I know how to say is that there are no real 'shortcuts' for grief, whether it's grief for yourself, someone else, or just the general awfulness of what happened. It is painful. The only thing you can do is honor that feeling, and take care of yourself. : : All of which is only my humble opinion, feel free to take what feels helpful, and discard what doesn't work for you. It's your grief, they are your feelings, and only you know what works for you in processing your feelings. : : I hope some of this helps, : : Sarah Jasmijn
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