Gryphoemia by Proxy

by "My name is txilar and I'm a gryphoemic"

After checking with the Gryphoemia Information Database, I've found my situation to have shared much of the etiology and pathology of a standard case of Gryphoemia, however, there was a significant delay in transmission leading me to believe of a lesser known phenomenon I am temporarily labeling as "Gryphoemia by Proxy." It all happened like this...

I went to visit my Auntie who works at a retail department store. My Auntie was with a customer, so I stood chatting with her co-worker, who inquired about my hennaed hands. Needing no more than a brief "what's that?" to launch into a detailed history of henna and culture, I gladly filled up her respite, which she thoroughly enjoyed. I briefed her on henna (she wondered if I wore it for religious reasons) and passed on the fact that Henna has some roots and reasons in many religions, though it isn't itself a religious item. "Christianity, Judaism and Islam" I said. Somewhere I mentioned having Henna done in Egypt. "Ooh you went to Egypt?" Needing no more than a brief "Egypt?" I gladly filled her in on that trip. "Egypt is wonderful" I said. "Beautiful. Everyone should take the chance to go." In the meantime my Auntie stepped in close to whisper out of the side of her mouth "Don't act like you know me," then hopped back to the register to say loudly, "I'll be with you in just a moment, ma'am." And I graciously replied "Oh of course!" and went on rhapsodising about Egypt and my now second trip upcoming. For the record, yes, I talk with my hands. Probably more so when they are hennaed I'm sure. Well, finally my Auntie rings up her customer and waves her goodbye then begins to "assist" me. As soon as the previous lady and her husband were out of range, my Aunt laughs and begins to tell me of the woman's running commentary. "Do you see -That Girl-?" the lady inquires to my Aunt. "Did you hear what -She- said? She said -Islam- was beautiful and everyone -has- to experience it! She's even -been to Egypt-" My Aunt said she just nodded and said "really?" a bunch of times. "I think that's weird" the lady said, adding on "and did you see her hands? What is -THAT-? That just isn't right. I don't like that..." trailing off suspiciously and no doubt planning her call to the FBI. My Aunt, considering her job, didn't have the heart to break the news to the lady, that I was her niece. I thought this was most unfortunate.

So, it now appears that a fellow department store shopper can be an undercover terrorist recruiting for training if she is wearing henna and so much as breathes the name of a middle eastern country. She didn't hear "Judaism" and assume me to be Orthodox, she didn't hear "Christian" and assume me to be some New Age Christian decorated for church. And no, I am not veiled nor do I look "suspiciously Middle Eastern." I doubt this silly woman could even tell what anyone who looks "other" even could be other than, to her, "Other," with a capital scary letter "O!!" And she probably can't even... [think sarcastic thoughts must have choclat think sarcastic thoughts must have choclat... ] A good temporary treatment while at work is Sarotti's Choclat au lait. Cheap fireballs also help me a lot as I have to focus on the heat and can manage the irritation skirting through my veins. Uh back on track...

So... The reason for the new terminology? I brushed it off at the time. I laughed about it. But, like a delayed "virus" it took its time in working into my system. I wanted to put this call out as soon as possible as it appears "Gryphoemia by Proxy" can cause "Flashback Gryphoemia," inducing common symptoms in an extremely short timeframe. They can be brought on by discussions of practically anything- politics, religion, culture, shopping, even henna itself! Since a prophylactic is of no use in this situation, as one never knows when it might occur, Gryphoemics must monitor themselves on a regular basis when in or around new scenarios, or when being made aware of commentary from someone no longer around. This is very important as some, such as myself, might simply brush off these Gryphoemia-inducing episodes and face a far worse reaction at a later time, making a mild episode much much worse. One of the most common symptoms appears to be a "Things I could have said/done"- episode which can go on for days. A brief remission might occur only to be broken mid-week with an outraged yell of "AND CAN YOU BELIEVE SHE SAID..." (um, see above paragraph...) This can severely conflict with normal day-to-day living. Please be aware of this and come forward seeking treatment and comfort. Friends and family must be made aware of this syndrome in order to keep Gryphoemics from floundering in the sheer agony of outrage. I hope my story can help others. 

peace and deep breathing techniques,

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