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The Henna Page Journal
Ozzfest Diary
Catherine Cartwright Jones
Page 6 of 20

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I scrounge the internet for a room in Detroit, and find a bed and breakfast. That will be a blessed comfort after Pittsburgh! I download directions, which feature a 1 ½ hour excursion in the wrong direction through a nasty neighborhood in downtown Detroit. So, I drive us into a motherfucker tornado-laden multilevel midwestern electric torrential thunderstorm, (I can't see the pavement in the downpour, let alone the lane markers) then get lost in crackhead central. I pretend to be calm. Arriving at the B&B past midnight, we dive into bed; we have to be up at 5:45 am again.

We go into the amphitheater parking lot for the 6:30 call. Other vendors slept in their vans. It's going to be hot. I get last pick again, but it's not anywhere near beer, thank God. We're next to the airbrush artist, near the toilets, at the entrance. We discuss how to handle being the first thing Ozzfesters see upon entering. Gwyn takes the initiative.

USA decency law reads that a post adolescent female breast must have an opaque covering, specifically on the nipples and aureolae, when in public places. The interpretation here is that spray painted boobies are street legal. The airbrush artist is a kewhl dude, and worked Woodstock II, Mardi Gras and other Bacchanalia. His specialty is to airbrush marijuana leaves on nipples, with faux psychadelic ripples between midriff and shoulders. He does a great $20 boob job. Gwyn knows other strippers who had him poof their boobies at Woodstock, has a chat with him, and goes for it as soon as his electrics are hooked up. The temperature is over 95F on the blacktop by 11 am, and she wants the comfort of toplessness. She gets vampire bats on her nipples with blue flames surrounding. She looks terrific.

Gwyn's bat boobs DO attract the attention of every MSU frat boy coming through the gates .... and business starts up fast! I begin riding the rocker gurlz, though heat is oppressive, and the audience is less than 10% female. It's a tough group to work ... the guyz want TRIBALZ, and they want TATTOOZ. They want needles and blood and nothing less. I say, "This isn't fake anything. It's REAL HENNA."

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